Five songs are ready to be recorded and another five are ready to be rehearsed.

/Yours Truly

Quarter-life Questions

I was just now going through some of the lyrics that I’ve written and co-written over the last year or two, and quite quickly, I found sort of a red thread (röd tråd) that pierced through most of the words. The red thread is a series of questions and/or statements about what life is like as you approach the quarter-life line, which is fine I suppose. However, the themes that are dealt with in these questions/statements reflect those I’d expect maybe a 18 year-old to be struggling with…and rightfully so.  It’s about finding out who you are as a person, where you fit in the big picture (if there is one…), who you ultimately want to be, how to stay true to oneself, how to love, etc.  Sure, questions about love and independce could come from anyone regardless of age, but questions about identity seem like they should’ve been at least partially answered by the time you reach 25. But I might be way off here.  It just took me a little by surprise, I’d say. They were my own words, yet it didn’t hit me until now…Who am I? Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea, but what if I change radically tomorrow, or something happens, that forces me to redfine what this I is all about?  Do you ever truly find out who you are?  Is there even something to find?  Can you choose freely who you’ll be or will people around you or the society shape who you’ll be?  So many questions. Existential bs, I know.  By the time the big three-O comes around I’ll probably know everything about life anyways, so why worry at all, right?

So far, this week has been spent by me either planning for guitar classes or teaching guitar classes.  I got a job a 10-minute train-ride from here teaching guitar at a place called ABF.  Sure, it’s not a full-time job, but it’s great.  Three- hour blocks twice a week with a total of almost 20 students.  I certainly can’t complain.  The students are mostly beginners, but there are also a few that are a bit further along in their guitar playing.  The mixture is nice, but challenging.  It’s very exciting to get to explore the guitar as if it were the first time through the eyes of total beginners, while it’s equally exciting finding out what the perfect exercise for a bit more experienced player could be.  In the end, I might end up learning just as much, or more, than my students.  Hope that’s O.K.

This weekend is going to be exciting.  Robin is visiting.  The purpose of his visit is for us to get a chance to work through some songs, make some living-room recordings, and decide on a band name.  Ambitious, huh?  Especially that last part.  How hard can it be?
In addition to Robin’s visit, my parents are dropping by on saturday, bringing my niece and nephew along.  I foresee a day of  shopping, eating, and playing.  Sign me up!
There are also two parties to attend this weekend.  Life is hard right now!

Let me wrap this post up by sharing some right-out-of-the-oven-fresh lyrics:

“HIGH-SPEED BITS
 PASS US BY
 NEED I SAY
 TIME CAN FLY
 SO WE CATCH
 WHAT WE MAY
 AND HOLD ON TO
 EVERYDAY

 YOU CAN CHANGE
 ANYTHING
 CHOOSE A NEW
 BEGINNING
 …”   t.b.c.

Later ya’ll!

Everything is possible!

I’ve been familiar with this statement for some years now, but it feels like I’m coming to terms with it more and more. I mean, come on, we all doubt it from time to time. But man do things work out when you just know in your heart they will. Sometimes it even works out better than you could ever have thought. It blows my mind!

About two weeks ago, we moved to Lund. I guess our expectations were fairly high and I felt both inspired and assured that good things would come our way. Well, the town itself has definitely lived up to my expectations thus far, but the first two weeks were also pretty slow. Slow in regards to finding a job, getting my music thing going, and meeting new people. Since my courses at the academy still haven’t begun, I’ve had a good amount of time on my hands. With all that time and with obstacles ahead, you’d think I’d be worrying sick having thoughts like ‘What if I don’t find a job?’ and ‘What if I don’t make any new friends?’ or ‘What if I’m in the right place at the wrong time?’. But I refused! Refused to let the ‘What if’s get to me. They simply crossed my mind…popped by for a fika…and then left. Instead, I got busy. I sat down with my guitar to work on my songs, I wrote CVs and personal letters, I made phone calls, I had dinner with people, I applied for a half a dozen or so jobs, I emailed my CV to people I talked to on the phone, etc. etc. I’m not writing all of this just to pat myself on the back. It’s simply a testament to the fact that if you set your mind to something and do the work, there’s no one who can keep you from achieving your goals. It’s the big secret! I decided I was gonna find a job, and I did. I decided I was gonna get a band going, and I did. I decided to meet new and awesome people, and I did. It’s all possible…and better still…it’s all pretty easy!

So, in conclusion, what you focus on definitely expands and there is never no solutions to any given problem. The secret revealed: Everything is possible!

Peace out!

Progress Report #1:

I’m happy to say that, just since last week, things have happened. Down below is a check list, which I aim to complete asap! I’m sure plenty of things will be added to the list as I go, but this is a starting point; a way to keep myself on track and to stay inspired.

1. Complete more than enough songs for a demo: CHECK (5 going on 8 thus far)

2. Turn the duo into a trio: CHECK (Robin, Martin, and myself)

3. Set dates and location for the recording of the demo: CHECK (~22-26 Oct. in Stockholm…Thanks Tom!!)

4. Find a band name: … (brainstorming in progress)

5. Find a part-time job: CHE…(only halfway there)

6. Take promo shots: …

7. Get a website up and running: …

8. Book the first gig: …

9. Start classes: …

10. Get an amp: … (this is almost embarrassing, haha)

————————————

Okay, enough with that for now.

In other news, Inglourious Basterds is in fact glorious! It was wildly entertaining. Heart-wrenching, hilarious, repulsive, and all together wonderful. Well spent time and money!  That does, however, not hold true for the so-called international welcome party at Kårhuset last night. What a waste of time and money. And to top it off…I was the designated driver. Oh well, better luck next time.

I now own a vacuum cleaner to my floor’s great relief. Random? I know.

Don’t forget…

Today is tomorrow’s yesterday!

It’s alive!

After a wonderfully eventful summer and after almost not remembering my own password, I have found my way back to my blog.

Much has changed since my last entry.  I’m no longer in the promised land, but back in a familiar world of fikas, family, and old (and new) friends.  We have landed in Lund, and thus far it’s beyond our expectations.  A great apartment, a great town, and great times ahead.

This is somewhat a new phase.  I can feel it.  And it’s good.  Some school, hopefully some work (on the look out for some), and lots of music writing.  I’m motivated, flexibel, open-minded, a great multitasker, and more.  Oh, that sounds like a quote out of one of my resumé presentations…this job searching business is getting to me. But not in a negative way at all.  Quite the opposite actually.  It has forced me to reflect and remember times passed, it’s teaching me a few things about how to put myself out there, and it’s also showing me that there are many things a person can do to earn a living.  I’m still clueless as to what I will do, but I’m not worried.  Intrigued.

Getting really antsy to record now too.  Will find a way to make that happen shortly.  The material is coming together.  So is the band.  Right now a duo hoping to become a trio.  The whole thing is reminding me of just how wonderful music-making is when shared.  And share it I will.

Tomorrow starts now.

ps.  If you’re in Lund, come visit!

An Epcot Adventure

I will let the pictures do the speaking in this post!

Arriving

Inside

 

The safety goggles are on

O, Canada

In the streets of Paris

In Morocco

Aladdin & Jasmine looking smokin'

Japan

Still in Japan (aka 'Hello Kitty' heaven)

Trendy in kimonos

Gorgeous geisha in red

Leaving Japan behind

Proud to be in a picture with 'the ball'

Something other than spaghetti got between Lady & the Tramp in Italy

All bow to the King of Germany

Another (Lion) King

 

Pretty flowers

Flowers close-up

Lunch at Coral Reef Restaurant

Met a birthday buddy named Karen

Best (Lava) smoothie in the world. PERIOD.

Going for a dive

Minutes away from landing on Mars

Vikings in Norway

Who looks more monstrous?

Back in Morocco for dinner at Restaurant Marrakech

What to pick?

Illuminations

More illuminations

Even more illuminations

More illuminations still

After a truly amazing birthday we left Epcot feeling incredibly satisfied.  Almost forgot where the car was parked. Took some walking around the huge lot to finally find it.

What a perfect day!

Margie, thank you!!! 

Me and my guitar.

Despite having been no less busy lately, I have gotten some quality time with my guitar in.  I spent a couple of hours playing along with some of my favorite tunes, and some songs that I thought I should’ve learned by now.

Before Christmas, my goal was to have enough of my originals done to put together a decent demo by the end of 2008.  Well, that didn’t happen.  However, by the time the new year came around, I had a half dozen half finished songs that I was rather happy with.  Better than nothing, right?!  Just not quite good enough…haha.
So imagine my disappointment when I realized I’d have to change the title of my tentative demo from “Demo ‘08″ to “Demo 08/09″ … not at all what I had in mind.  Now I’ve gotten used to the thought of ‘naming’ it 08/09, BUT … in order for me to keep that title, I should probably get these songs done before, oh…let’s say June.  Because if it takes any longer, the dreaded “Demo ‘09″ title is inevitable!  I mean, I can still get away with it before half of ‘09 has passed. But if it surpasses the 6 months, then I’d just be fooling myself were I to keep the ‘08 in there.  My goodness … I have issues of procrastinational proportions!!

Maybe the route to take is to have a simple and plain “to-do” list, with no murky formulations to confuse what needs to get done.  No more putting things off.  No more “wait-until-tomorrows”. No more telling myself I’ll do something by a certain time and then not staying true to myself. But most importantly…no more “no mores”….it’s getting old!

Anyways, where was I?  Ah, the “to-do” list.  So…just a simple list. Bullet-points maybe, but then again…maybe not.  How about coloring?  Would I pay closer attention and perform better at whatever task at hand if every item on the list were in a different color? A color-scheme that puts the items in order of priority…YES!  Let’s see:

White:  that’d mean just a blank, right? So, not that important. Perfect!
Yellow: pale, not that important, but it still makes the list.
Green: kinda important, but it can wait until next week.
Blue: do it soon, but not really that urgent
Purple: do it by tomorrow or else!
Maroon: oh shit!
Red: NOO! Deadline passed! Do it yesterday!

There!  What an excellently pointless set of rules for an even pointlesser list.  Hmm…I wonder how fast an item moves “up” a color?  Everything should turn red eventually, right?!

Wait, I still don’t even have a list!? Wait, what was the point of the list? Wait, what list? I’m so confused!

I’m just gonna go write a song instead!

Oh, sweet irony…

Dear blog,

It’s been a while, i know.  I promise I’ll be better. Next entry will definitely be more substantial.

Here’s a couple of lines from my latest work in progress called ‘Picking up the Pieces’…..

“Picking up the pieces
of a life I left along the way
Knowing it would some day
Be mine to lead again

Breaking up with habits
growing worse and older by the day
changing from a shade of gray
to blinding colors, you’ll see

I’m picking up the pieces,
the pieces of me”

I believe that’s the chorus right there.  A few words in there I’m not 100% sure about. But it’s a start.

Good night!

Spring Break…now?

I wasn’t sure whether to say that spring break is finally here, or spring break…already?? That’s how it feels. I’ve had tons of things keeping me busy and stressed out, so in that sense it’s definitely ‘finally here.’  But at the same time, when you’re busy time seems to fly by, so I certainly have some mixed feelings about it.  While I’m all about graduating and finding out what’s beyond, I also want to savor these last couple of months of undergrad. school. Although my paths may lead me back here eventually, it sure won’t be here and now, because here and now is…well…now.

Now is a tricky thing for me lately. I’m loving it here in spite of being stressed out from time to time, but I have to consciously tell my mind not to wander off to…oh let’s say…Ohio in May, Sweden in July, Sweden in August, Sweden in September etc. With so many exciting things to look forward to, how else - other than forcing yourself – can you stay in the moment? I will keep trying, because I know the things I’m looking forward to will happen regardless. So rather than wishing they were happening now, I will take great comfort in knowing they will, and soon. Come what May? This May!

“I’m trying to stay in the moment
but at the moment, I’m lying in bed with
the covers over my head.

I’m fighting my way out of the future
but the future keeps inviting me back
It’s hard to keep me on track when I’m falling…

I’m falling
I’m falling
I’m falling in love with you

She’s sleeping, looking out of this world tonight
and tonight she’s keeping me up
but I don’t ever want it to stop

She wakes up when I kiss her good bye
I say ‘good bye love’, then she takes me by surprise
when she opens her eyes saying, I’m falling

I’m falling
I’m falling
I’m falling in love with you

All over again I fall
All over again I crawl
To get back up on my feet
To get ready for a sweet, sweet fall again
For you…”

Just something I’m working on. A little love song you might call it. Not completely satisfied with it yet, but it’s a work in progress.

Might as well share another one with you.

“Take a breath, relax
 Rest your head on my shoulder
 It’s O.K. to pause and put your life on hold

 You’re not alone
 I’m right here beside you
 So sit tight in this boat made for two

 Sailing slowly side by side
 Our eyes and arms are open wide
 No matter where we wash ashore
 We’ll be stronger than we were…

 Before you go
 I’ve got something to tell you
 I know how you feel and I feel it too

 Please stay awhile
 Just long enough for me to explain why
 why I think we shouldn’t say good bye

 Sailing slowly side by side
 Our eyes and arms are open wide
 No matter where we wash ashore
 We’ll be stronger than we were…

 I put my life in your hands
 and you put yours in mine
 trust me, we’re gonna be fine

 Sailing slowly side by side
 Our eyes and arms are open wide
 No matter where we wash ashore
 We’ll be stronger than before”

Alright folks, I’m off for some apartment cleaning, then work, and tomorrow…SPRING BREAK wohooo *flashing nonexistent man-boobs*

Ps. We’re hoping to find the battery charger for our camera in Fort Lauderdale.  So if we’re lucky enough to find it, spring break pictures will be posted shortly.

A few random notes this time.

Seems like my blogging has become a weekly thing or bi-weekly at best.  I like it that way though, because usually more things happen in between my posts and that gives me more to write about!

Margie and I are trying to find someone to sublease our apartment after we graduate.  We put together a little poster thingy…you know…the ones where you pull off a little tab with the phone number on it.  It’s also on craigslist, so now it’s just a waiting and hoping game. Do you wanna live in Florida over the summer? Well, here’s your chance! *smiles like a salesman*

Spring break is a mere week away!  January and February…where did you go?  March is exciting though.  Spring break, my b-day, trip to disney (probably epcot), and hopefully some warmer weather.  Today it was really cold. I would describe it as a blizzard without any snow. Jeez, what have you done to me Florida?? I bet soon I won’t even go swimming if it’s colder than 70 degrees (21 C)…oh wait…I already don’t! Crap. Maybe this is another reason why moving back to Sweden will do me some good.

Our Stephen King mania has continued.  ‘The Dead Zone’ is still waiting to be finished…because we decided to watch ‘The Shining’ mini-series instead, which I incorrectly said was directed by Stephen King. It’s not, but he did write the ‘teleplay’ for it. I was right about that. We both really liked it. Definitely less scary and has a slower pace than the Kubrick version, but the characters are more believable and at times even likable, which is not the case in Kubrick’s film.  Especially the wife Wendy…ah, kill her please…make her sobbing stop. Sorry if I offended any fans of the original. I like it, too!

I have officially ordered my graduation regalia. The gown the hat. Pretty exciting. However, I got a little disappointed when I found out that you’re only renting it, which means I won’t get to keep it as a ‘cool’ souvenir.  Maybe I’ll accidentally forget to return it. Although I don’t know when I’d ever wear it again, but wouldn’t it be a neat thing to show ‘the grandkids’?  Actually, I’d probably just keep it so I could show it to my parents. 
Another thing that annoyed me about it is that I have to pay for it in the first place. I don’t even wanna think about how many $$$$ I’ve given the school. And they can’t even provide the graduation gown? What’s next? Will I have to pay to have my diploma printed, too?? I’ll probably at least have to pay for it to be sent to Sweden. This just goes to show that nothing comes for free I guess.

I still haven’t figured out my issue with posting music. I thought I was smart and had found a way to beat the system by posting a song on youtube.  Of course, what I posted wasn’t a video and wouldn’t work, so I fell flat on my face immediately. Isn’t there anything similar to youtube but for audio files? There’s gotta be, right? If I can embed a youtube video for free on my blog there has to be a way to embed a song for free, too, you’d think! Help. Anybody. Hello…? Who’s there…? Oh well…

By the way, this is…

Me...

Myself...

…and…

I.

 

How rude of me not to show my face until now. But chances are if you’re reading my blog, you already know my face. *twinkle in eye*

That first picture makes me laugh, but Margie likes it so…there you go…Mats as a 1950s musician.